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Showing posts from October 27, 2019

WORD OF ADVICE

"Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results."

RELATIONSHIP HIDDEN JOKE

"Alice was becoming frustrated by her husband's insistence that they make love in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, she flipped on her reading lamp one passionate night -- only to find a cucumber in his hand. "Is THIS", she asked, pointing to the vegetable, "what you've been using on me for the last 5 years?" "Honey, let me explain..." "Why, you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a -" "Speaking of sneaky," her husband coolly interjected, "maybe you'd like to explain our three kids." 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 "

RELATIONSHIP FACT JOKE

"Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F and G are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed! {A} - Almost Boobs...{B} - Barely there. {C} - Can't Complain! {D} - Damn! {DD} - Double damn!{E} - Enormous! {G} - GEEEEzus Christ! {F} - Fake. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 "

RELATIONSHIP JOKE

".As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?" 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 

THOUGHTFUL JOKE

"A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says 'I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off-- here are the keys.' Six months later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $200 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possesion of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, 'Sir, if I may ask, whyw a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two hundred dollars?' The man answers, 'I had to go to Europe for six months, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?' 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 ."

JOKE OF THE DAY

"A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspectit. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up at that moment. As she turns back, standing next to her is a salesman."Good day, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, she asks,"Sir, how much does this rug cost?"He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna sh*t inyour pants when you hear what the price is." 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 "