DHARMIE KRIT GLOBE

Superman Akpos "Akpos can put out a fire with a gallon of petrol.""Akpos counted to infinity. Twice.""Akpos threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.""When Akpos crosses the express road, the cars have to look both left and right.""Akpos can sneeze with his eyes open and lick his elbow. At the same time.""Akpos can drown a fish.""Death once had a near-Akpos experience.""Akpos puts the "laughter" in 'manslaughter'.""Akpos can cut a knife with butter.""A bulletproof vest wears Akpos for protection.""Akpos can hear sign language.""Akpos Blood Type is AK-47.""When Akpos enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.""Akpos can strangle you with a cordless phone.""Akpos can divide by zero.""Akpos can kill two stones with one bird."

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD! "Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!! "Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!! "The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD. "The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't. "The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord! "